00:00:20:05 - 00:01:01:10
Unknown
Hello and welcome to the Happy Insights Podcast. My name is Happy Ali and today we're going to talk about something different. We're going to talk about the chambers of the emotional aspect of the human heart. Now we know we have four chambers in our heart that do their job and keep us alive, but we also have different chambers in our heart emotionally, that if you understand them better, you'll understand why you are fulfilled more at times, why you're more joyous at times, and when some parts go missing or become empty, why you are so miserable.
00:01:01:12 - 00:01:25:08
Unknown
And another thing I want to talk about is how one person cannot fill a chamber that is not theirs to fill. So this is how the human heart emotional heart works. When you are a child, you have the main heart of the heart. This is the first part of the heart that forms. It's the core of the heart.
00:01:25:09 - 00:01:53:22
Unknown
It's where your family fits the people that you were raised with fit your aunts and uncles fit. That most important people in your life as a child. That's where their places. Right. And this is your core. This is if you grow up with a full heart and enough people that have loved you in this part of your life, that's the part that's going to fuel you and ground you and lead to a better life.
00:01:54:02 - 00:02:33:04
Unknown
Okay. So that's the main part. That's the first part. Then as you start to make friends, you grow another layer of your heart and mind. You, you don't actually have these parts until you grow them. The very first one is created by your family and by the people you love. But then once the friend aspect comes in, which you develop early on, but you really, truly develop that aspect when you're a little bit older and you start truly bonding with friends and you have special connections, you grow the friend part.
00:02:33:06 - 00:02:57:20
Unknown
And anyone that you meet that you love as a friend, that is a true bond, not a fake friend or an acquaintance fits in this category. Okay, so they have their special place in this part. Then as you become someone who grows romantic love and you fall in love for the first time, a new part of your heart develops.
00:02:57:22 - 00:03:33:23
Unknown
This is the romantic layer of your heart, the new chamber of the heart. And it starts in the teenage years. Okay, so this layer only fits the people that you love. Okay. When I say love, I mean romantically love. Now, as you notice, it's on the outside layer. Now, the thing that is incredible about this concept is that let's say that you have the outside layer completely full and you lose people that belong in the smaller categories.
00:03:34:01 - 00:04:09:14
Unknown
If the outer layer is completely full, then you feel fulfilled. Like, you can still be extremely happy, but you will still have some void in your heart, something that's missing, but you will still be able to be happy. So the outer layer usually trumps the inner layers in terms of temporary happiness or momentary happiness. So if you have that outer layer, even if you're missing the inner parts, you'll still be able to be happy at this time.
00:04:09:16 - 00:04:43:14
Unknown
Then there is the final layer that can only grow if you have children, or for some people it's their pets. Once you grow that outer layer, if you truly love your children and the bond is a typical parent child love, then the outer layer develops. That means that once the outer layer is formed, if you're missing all the inner parts, if all the people inside the other ones go away, you can still have temporary happiness or momentary happiness.
00:04:43:16 - 00:05:09:20
Unknown
Sorry, I didn't mean to say temporary momentary happiness. It means happiness in every moment that you're around those people and you're loving those people. And that outer shell trumps all the inner shells. So if you lose your romantic partner, you lose your friends. You lose your family members. If that child parent bond is strong and full, then you can still be happy.
00:05:09:20 - 00:05:35:12
Unknown
Mind you, there will still be a void in your life because ultimately, once you develop any of the chambers in your heart, they need to stay full and they need to stay occupied. Otherwise, there is what you could consider a hole in your heart. So what happens is, let's say you have children. Your children kind of want all the attention to themselves.
00:05:35:13 - 00:06:00:03
Unknown
So if you have a new partner or anything, they might get jealous that that person is taking over the attention that rightfully belongs to them. But what I explain to my children is that no one can fill that chamber of the heart that grew just for you. No one and yours trumps all else. The same thing goes with romantic relationships.
00:06:00:05 - 00:06:28:22
Unknown
Once you have grown a special part of your heart for your romantic interest that is theirs. It is nobody else's. But theirs and nobody. Whether it's children or your family or your friends, even if their soulmate friends can ever feel the part of the heart that you grew just for them. So there is never any competition when it comes to love.
00:06:29:00 - 00:06:53:15
Unknown
There's always competition when it comes to attention, but there is never a competition for love. And it's the same thing with friends. Now, when I say friends, I'm not talking about just any old friend. I'm talking about friends that have strong bonds. No one can replace the place or the area that can only be occupied by a friend.
00:06:53:17 - 00:07:20:14
Unknown
And the same thing goes with parents and family members. Everyone has their own very special, unique space. And where they are determines your level of happiness. Now, if you lose your children after you've had them, and after you've grown that aspect of your heart, you will always be slightly off or unhappy because that is the largest aspect of your heart.
00:07:20:16 - 00:07:44:21
Unknown
So you will need to have a lot of the inner hearts full and occupied for you to be able to have a good life, because the outer layer is so powerful. So if you had four children, three children, and to die or disappear or leave you, you will always feel a void. So you have to make sure that the rest of your heart is full, because nothing is ever going to replace that part.
00:07:45:03 - 00:08:06:19
Unknown
In fact, there is no person that you put in your heart that when they leave, someone else can replace their part. But a lot of people get insecure. Children get insecure when their parents meet someone new, because they think they're no longer going to fit in their heart, as if there is a limited space that they cannot fill.
00:08:06:21 - 00:08:39:13
Unknown
But it's important to know that every time we fall in love, whether with a friend, a lover, a child, we grow a special part of the heart. But it still belongs to one of the unique chambers. So a child should never have to worry that a new partner would replace them, because the child trumps everything else. A romantic partner should never worry that a friend is going to replace them, because the chamber that's created for a romantic love is an outer layer.
00:08:39:15 - 00:09:07:06
Unknown
The only thing that trumps that is children and then friends. Because friends. I know people think that mom and dad should be somewhere else. But when it comes to everyday happiness, friends actually do trump your core family members because your family members is a very unique bond and they are your root, but they cannot provide everyday happiness because your interactions tend to be with people that you are friends with.
00:09:07:06 - 00:09:40:04
Unknown
And friends are able to give something to you and allow you to grow in a different way than family members do. Because of the level of interaction and communication and openness that's available on that. So the ideal version of life would be to have everything, all aspect filled. But that's not going to happen because you're going to have friends that go away, family that goes away, children that might go away or die, romantic partners that are gone.
00:09:40:04 - 00:10:12:18
Unknown
But once a romantic partner goes, the only person that can fill that area again is another romantic partner. Or once a friend goes, the only person that can fulfill that aspect is another friend. And once a family member goes, unfortunately, that's the one area where you can't replace family. That's why the outer shells are there to compensate for the inner part, because the inner part usually does end up gone missing somewhere between the time you are live to the time you die.
00:10:12:20 - 00:10:43:06
Unknown
So why am I explaining all this? I'm explaining all this because I want to clarify that there's never a competition when it comes to your place in someone's heart. And I also want to say that you should never feel jealous if you're a friend and someone puts their lover before you, or if you're a lover and someone puts their children before you, it's.
00:10:43:09 - 00:11:12:02
Unknown
Or if you're a parent and someone puts their friend, their lover, and their children before you. So if you understand the way that this system works, it'll kind of make sense to you. You'll feel more secure in where you belong in people's hearts, and you'll understand why you prioritize people the way that you do. So this diagram is exclusively for people that we love unconditionally or we bond with unconditionally.
00:11:12:08 - 00:11:40:20
Unknown
So it's not just for everyone that you meet, but sometimes some parents, they are not ready to let their children go. And as the new parts develop, they start getting jealous as if they're being replaced. But no one can replace you. And the same thing goes for everybody else. But when it comes to your level of joy, if the outer shell was grown and then it becomes empty, it's really hard to fill that void.
00:11:40:22 - 00:12:08:15
Unknown
Or if that romantic love is there and it's empty. Friends can temporarily make you feel better, but you will always seek out someone to fill that romantic aspect of your life because you've already grown that chamber. And every chamber that is grown needs to be refill. And the only one that can't be, like I said, is the center, because no one can replace the original people that raised you.
00:12:08:17 - 00:12:34:02
Unknown
But hopefully your connection goes beyond life and death, and you will have a connection that will keep you fulfilled in some ways. All right, so there are a couple of questions that I want to address before I wrap up this episode, because they are important and they popped up. So I'm going to go over them really quick. The first one is can someone be in more than one chamber?
00:12:34:04 - 00:13:12:05
Unknown
So yes, you can have your children that kind of fill in the friendship chamber, but it gets kind of tricky because people can have characteristics of different chambers, but they usually fit in that very specific chamber. For example, you can have such a strong relationship with your child that it feels like they're also your best friend. But your friendship chamber is still kind of empty, and you should have that filled, because you're going to need every single chamber to be as full as possible.
00:13:12:05 - 00:13:36:07
Unknown
If you want to have a healthy life. So if your kid leaves, you want to have that friendship chamber already kind of filled up and fulfilled. Because if something like that happens and your friendship chamber is empty, you're going to be in a lot of trouble. Or people that are in relationships, sometimes they want to be the other person's best friend and their lover, which is actually very possible.
00:13:36:13 - 00:14:11:20
Unknown
But you still fit into that love chamber, because if you try to fill in the friendship chamber as a lover, you create a codependent relationship. The same with the child and parent, because you're trying to take over too much of their heart, or they're trying to take too much of your heart. And what happens is that a codependency begins to happen, and sometimes it turns into resentment, because then you feel like, hey, they want too much of me.
00:14:11:20 - 00:14:37:07
Unknown
They're not giving me enough space to fill in the void that I already have, that I need to have. Because every relationship has unique properties that need to be fulfilled by that specific role. And when you're with your friends, you're more free sometimes than when you're with your children. For example, because you can say things that you can't say in front of your children, or you can be versions of yourself that you cannot be in front of your children.
00:14:37:13 - 00:15:04:12
Unknown
Same thing with your lover. And there's also a lot of learning and growing and evolving that happens from and within each chamber that if you try to blur the lines too much, the learning and the growing kind of becomes more limited. So it's better to keep each chamber full with its own unique property, or the type of love or friendship or lover, or child or family that you have.
00:15:04:14 - 00:15:40:01
Unknown
Now people do move around so that thing does happen. For example, if you break up with somebody and you really did care about them, they could move into a non-romantic friendship role and they stay in there forever if you want them to. But they can move. Or sometimes friends become so rooted into your existence because you've known them for so long that they now start filling the very core of your heart, which is you, where you're grounded and rooted, and they become part of the OG.
00:15:40:03 - 00:16:06:06
Unknown
So you can move around for sure. But the concept of this video was more about the different chambers and how you grow them, and how you need to know that you have a special place in people's hearts. So the next question is what if someone has a hole in all of them? Can they be happy? So if you have a hole in all of them and they're all empty, there is only two ways to be happy.
00:16:06:07 - 00:16:38:02
Unknown
The first one is self-love, which is really hard actually, when you have all of those holes being empty because a lot of times your self-love is diminished because you feel like maybe you're not worth having love in your life because all of the holes in your life. And that's when you have to turn to a higher power. Your connection with the divine and tapping into the divine resources that you have and the God aspect of this universe, the divinity of it all, fills in every single void, by the way.
00:16:38:05 - 00:16:59:22
Unknown
So you can have holes basically, and be empty in every single part. But if you're connected to something greater, you can actually have a lot of happy moments in your life. But ultimately we are physical beings. So even if you're connected to God and the universe in as many ways as possible, there is a part of you that will long to have those chambers filled.
00:17:00:00 - 00:17:31:14
Unknown
So I hope that answers that question. But yes, you can be happy, but you have to be connected to something greater than yourself. And the final question is, can lines ever overlap? And the answer is, of course, yes, because everything that I said was just to create an image in your mind to grasp all this stuff. But nothing is so black and white as to, you know, and this is stuff that a human created like a human mind and the world and the heart and emotions are not that precise.
00:17:31:16 - 00:18:03:18
Unknown
So of course there's always overlap, but whenever you try to get one person to fill in too many chambers, it becomes extremely unhealthy. And you feel like if they go because if they go, you will completely fall apart. That's why it's really, really unhealthy to use your children as your only source of joy, or your relationship as your only source of joy, or your friendships or family as your only source of joy.
00:18:03:20 - 00:18:25:07
Unknown
When you do that, then you are destined to fall apart and have a really hard time someday because nobody ever stays. Because if people stay with you, even forever, one day they might die before you. So that's it. That's the episode today. I hope it was educational. I think it was a really good episode. So let me know what you think.
00:18:25:12 - 00:18:28:15
Unknown
Have a beautiful day and see you in the next episode. Bye.
